Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
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