Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
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