Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
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