What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
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