Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
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