What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Whale, hello there.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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