Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
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