If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
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