If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
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