What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
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