What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
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