What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Go to BabaMail
