Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Go to BabaMail
