Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Give me some pigskin
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
My moment in the sun.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
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