What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
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