I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Football is one habit I will never kick
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Get in the swim this summer.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Go to BabaMail
