My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Case in punt
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
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