Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
I feel tail great!
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Give me some pigskin
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
We’ll have a ball.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
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