Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
We’re calling your number.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
All punts are highly intended
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
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