What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Having a ball
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
My moment in the sun.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
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