What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
This summer is going swimmingly.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
Water you doing on [date]?
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
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