Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Having a ball
All punts are highly intended
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
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