Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Give me some pigskin
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I like your tight end
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
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