Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
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