Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
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