How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
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