My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Prepare to be bowled over.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Poor white splash.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
All punts are highly intended
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
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