I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
We’ll have a ball.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
This summer is going swimmingly.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
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