What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Get in the swim this summer.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
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