Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
The goal nine yards
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Summer is just floating by.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Having a ball
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
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