Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
The goal nine yards
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Football is one habit I will never kick
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
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