What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
All punts are highly intended
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
The calm before the score
I like your tight end
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Summer is just floating by.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Give me some pigskin
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
​Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Water you doing on [date]?
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
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