Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
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