How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Case in punt
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
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