How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Calm before the score
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
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