Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
We’re calling your number.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
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