Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
Give me some pigskin
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
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