Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
The calm before the score
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
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