Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
The calm before the score
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
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