Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
The goal nine yards
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Calm before the score
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
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