Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Water you doing on [date]?
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
We’re calling your number.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Summer is just floating by.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
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