What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
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