What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
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