Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
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