Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
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