Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
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