Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
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