Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
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