What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Go to BabaMail
