What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
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