What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
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