What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
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