I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
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