Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
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