What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.