What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
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