What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
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