What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
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