My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
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