What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Avoid pier pressure.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Girls just wanna have sun.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Go to BabaMail
