What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
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