What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
The ocean made me salty.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Feeling fintastic.
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