A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
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