Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Give me some pigskin
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
By the seat of one’s punt
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
We’re calling your number.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
The calm before the score
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.