The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
The calm before the score
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
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